Today did NOT go as planned at all! This morning the plan was to get up clean up a bit and film a video. I spent the better part of the day attempting to set up. I filmed a few clips but just could not get into the groove of things. I found that I was becoming frustrated meanwhile forcing myself to put on this fake smile on camera and then my camera battery died! lol So I just had to take a step back , breathe and regroup. * deeps breaths
Guys, in 9 days I'll be turning 32 years old and I'm not ready! Now I know logically that I'm being a bit dramatic and whether I'm ready or not on Thursday I'll be 32 years old. What makes this birthday so different from the others is where I am currently. I am at this crossroad in my life where I need to REALLY figure out what I want and where I am going. To be completely honest and transparent I am embarrassed that I don't KNOW yet; Shouldn't I know by now?
The truth is as isolated as I feel right now I know that there a a lot of 30 somethings that find themselves feeling similarly and are contemplating their next move. So what do we do guys? Not having a plan is scary but remaining the same is far more painful. I seem to have more insight when it comes to helping others at times but when it comes to me I am clueless.
What I do know is that God has me in this particular space in my life for a reason , there is something I am supposed to do and learn in this time and I just pray that I am open and receptive enough to move forward. I don't want to spend my the rest of my life standing in the same spot expecting and expecting things to change. I apologize for this weird post my mind is all over the place and I just needed to vent. Hopefully things will be back to bushiness as usual tomorrow. Talk to you guys soon!
Love,
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